习作原文

Dear Sir,

I'm very glad that our newly-built reading room will be put into use soon.Here are my suggestions.

Above all, the reading room should be accessible to all the students .In order to suit the student's timetables,it's better to be open from 6:00 am to 10:00 pm .And I think there should have lots of books in the new reading room ,and the students are very interested in reference books about all the subjects we're learning .Besides ,we also like different types of novels ,maganizes and newspaper.And the most important thing is that the reading room should keep quiet ,and students should take good care of the books.

Yours

Lihua

批 改 老 师 maotouying 评 分 95分 级 别 优秀 批 改

1.And I think there should have lots of books in the new reading room , there 和have不能搭配，应将have改用be。

2.and the students are very interested in reference books about all the subjects we're learning . 注意人称上应该保持一致，前面用了the students ，后面就要用they。另外，就全文来看，人称也应该尽可能保持一致，如果用第一人称，就可以用we，如果用第三人称，那就可以用the students 和they等。

3.全文中有两处以And开头，不用更好，直接做为一句话即可。and一般用于后面的这个句子和前面关联度很高，即使这样，也是前面用逗号隔开，然后用and，之后是一个句子。

参考例句(文)

1.I think there should have lots of books in the new reading room，,and the students are very interested in reference books about all the subjects they're learning .

点 评

本文短小，内容清楚，明显的语法错误很少，整体上是一篇不错的小短文。

文中用Above all 和Besides这样的并列关联词使得文章有层次感，用的很好。

文中的不足之处在于人称使用上的不一致，请作者在以后写作时特别注意这一细节。

给 分 理 由

文中一处语法错误，扣2分；

文中人称使用不一致扣5分；

关联词使用得当，加2分；

最后得分95分。

批改满意度 100%