外B0432扬帆
Classroom, Canteen, Dormitory and Library constitute my whole life on campus. A lot of classmates often say to me “ Your life on campus must be so boring and monotonous!” I don’t deny I really used to be, but now I have found its interesting from this straight line life.
When I was a freshman, everything on campus was new to me. Living in this absolute strange environment, I felt so perplexed. At that time there was always a saying echoing in my ears “There is only one you can depend that is yourself!” Actually, on campus you have many choices to spend your daily life, such as Games online, Sports, Shopping, Studying and so on. Of course, different people have different way. As to me, I had the same thought as many students did have that I had been a college student, I am old enough and I can control my time, the hellish middle school had passed, it’s time to be fun, so I went online day by day, meeting the same people, chatting the same topic, watching movies one by one, at last I could even know how would the plot go on without watching the end. A month later, my eyesight became weaker and weaker, head ached, ears sounded, I had a feeling that I would die someday, truly I was afraid that would happen, finally I lost my enthusiasm on it.
Then I accompanied several friends to shopping, bought what I needed, ate what I wanted. After going back, lying in bed and recalling what did I get in the daytime, amazingly, besides some bags of fashion clothes and delicious food, I found there was only tiredness left. “That’s what I chase?” I asked myself. My soul answered no. I sobered overnight. That was really a long dream, when I woke up, one year had said goodbye. I took my book. At this moment, I found I just kept my pre-level.
People always say “If you can defeat yourself, you are the final winner.” I was enlightened by that one and then I begun to regard myself as my enemy and took the study as the weapon, library as my battlefield. However, I couldn’t lift the weapon as it’s too heavy. I couldn’t fit in the battlefield as it’s so quiet. I suffered more during that time. Yet fortunately, I stuck to it, went through the darkest time, I have seen the dawn. Where there was pain, now there’s joy. Where there was weakness, I found my strength.
Classroom, a place where I can show me off. Interacting with teachers and students, I absorb the knowledge as much as possible.
Canteen, which energizing me so that I can keep fit.
Dormitory, which proving me a good sleep, I travel around my dream.
Library, the biggest battery which I can recharge myself.
I get them all. I am enriched, so I think my life on campus is so interesting!
教师点评:
本文作者采用对比的手法,叙诉了自己校园生活的变化,把很多同学认为枯燥的学习生活写得非常生动。文章首尾呼应,语言流畅,特别是第三段落的描写,把学习比做武器,把图书馆比做战场等一系列隐喻的运用,以及后文的排比结构,使文章既生动又读来朗朗上口。从内容和写作手法看均不失为一篇好的英文习作。但文章结构不够清晰,有些语句还欠精练,以下是修改后的作文。阴影部分是较有特色的词句。 (指导教师:甘 敏)
修改后作文:
好学英文网