太阳葵新伍：

我感觉我的作文有点像trash........不过我不怕现眼，就因为差才贴出来改进^_^！

有很多不错的词汇一到写作的时候才发现，会说会看却不会写……

前几次4级都是差2～3分就过了，是不是出在作文上呢

希望老师指点，使我进步

Dear sir:

I’m so excited and pleased that you give me a chance to write to you.

As a normal people in the world,I have been concerning he peace of the world all the days.I realize that some place on earth are peaceful,developed and prosperous.But in some countries,a great number of people are still suffering from wars,disastersand disease,like Iran and Iraq.Many people were killed and more and more children lost their home and parents.The god treat his people is not fairly,I guess.

At the end of my letter,dear sir,I expect you and your organization may do more good things for your people,for the children and for the whole world.

yours S.J

错误：

1.I’m so excited and pleased that you give me a chance to write to you. / I am so honored to write to you.

2.As a normal people in the world / As an average people in the world

3.I have been concerning he peace of the world / I am concerned with the peace of the world.

4.some place / some places

5.suffering from wars, disasters and disease / … diseases

6.The god treat his people is not fairly / God treat his people unfairly

半只耳：

Dear Mr. Annan

I’m a college student in China. As I know, the situation of the world is very complicated.And it has been shown that war never stops in the past 10 years. Undoubtedly, most people love peace. But for the reason that no one person or country can bear being deprived of its own economical and political benefits. So the war breaks out. And what the war brings is chaos and poverty. Like in Iraq, people wherever he comes from meets danger everyday, meanwhile, many residents there are still homeless.

Sadly, in my view,the war will never stop unless the Union State play an more important role in the adjustment of many states.Of course, it is the easier said than done. But I believe that if the Union State conduct more lawful rights than before and today, the situation of the world may be not as worse as today’s.

I’m looking forward to your reply.

Best regards.

sincerely yours

James

麻烦丁老师指导一下，谢谢哦。

错误：

1.But for the reason that no one person or country can bear being deprived of its own economical and political benefits. 意思表达不清楚。/ economic and political ….

2., meanwhile, many residents there are still homeless. / . Meanwhile,

3.the Union State / the UN

4.it is the easier said than done. / it is easier said than done.

好学英文网